Truth for Mature Adults

My goodness. After two failed attempts to be more consistent about updating this blog, I'm pretty sure I can "Failing at Updating Blogs" to my resume without a second thought. Given that this is the week before finals, I still don't have time to give this a fair update. I have, however, come up with another plan: I have a week of randomness lined up for those of you struggling toward the end of the semester with me! To kick it off, feast your eyes on these Truths for Mature Humans and enjoy your Sunday afternoon. I promise there will be more to come tomorrow! :)

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, this is not mine and I cannot take credit for it. If you'd like to visit the orignial page, please check out: http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/8SuWOh/www.funlol.com/15926/Mature_people_truths.html/r:f


Truths for Mature Humans

1) I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer's history if you die.

2) Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3) I totally take back all of those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4) There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5) How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6) Was learning cursive really necessary?

7) Map Quest really needs to start their directions at #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8) Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9) I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10) Bad decisions make good stories.

11) You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you just know you aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12) Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I really don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13) I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save changes to my ten page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14) "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this--ever.

15) I hate when I miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? **** it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do when I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16) I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17) I keep some people's numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18) I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19) I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than with Kay.

20) I wish Google Maps had an "avoid ghetto" routing option.

21) Sometimes I'll watch a movie I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize that I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.

22) I would rather try to carry ten overloaded bags in each hand than take two trips to bring my groceries in.

23) The only time I look forward to a red light is when I am trying to finish a text.

24) I had a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25) How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26) I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent some jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27) Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants never get dirty and you can wear them forever.

28) Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber and dumber every year?

29) There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning back in your chair a little too far.

30) As a driver I hate pedistraians, and as a pedistrain I hate drivers, but no matter what mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

31) Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32) Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey--but I'll bet my *** everyone can find the snooze button from three feet away in 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!