In the wake of what has been a pretty eventful Forth of July weekend on the Hollywood/reality television front, it seemed like a post about this is in order. The question was how exactly to go about it; after all, I could conceivably write a LONG post about both Lindsey Lohan and the Jake/Vienna interview (cue the ominous music...). Instead, here is my etiquette wish list for A-list actors all the way down to those people on Rock of Love. Enjoy.
Dear People of the Great White Way (and those who want to end up there):
First of all, congrats on making it this far. Meaning, congratulations on wandering far enough into the depths of cyberspace to find this blog. Oh, and I suppose for having made it onto enough of a platform that someone, somewhere might know your name. You're already doing better than most of us. Before you go off and hire your driver, though, here are some things that we, the little people, wish you would keep in mind while you're establishing yourself as an artist. Or whatever it is that you're doing.
1) Discretion is your friend, we promise. I know, I know. This seems counter-intuitive coming from someone who swooned watching Taylor Lautner run around without a shirt in New Moon and Eclipse, but trust me when I say that there is a HUGE difference between him strutting around in all his heartsick agony and the Situation baring his abs whenever possible. The first has earned the admiration of girls across America. The second...well...is like driving past a train wreck: you can't help but look, but you'd rather not be caught watching. Would you rather be a long-term heartthrob or a flash in the pan?
2) Please, please act your age. Speaking of train wrecks, there is nothing that screams "trashy publicity stunt" than going on tv and either a) breaking down in hysterics or b) cussing up a storm and then c) storming out of an interview. Case in point: the Jake/Vienna fiasco. Did I watch it? You better believe it. DId I feel like a better person afterword? Nope. The problem was not so much that the whole thing was pretty trashy (I mean, let's be honest, the whole Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise is trashy), it was that watching Jake clench his jaw and Vienna scream like a banshee made me flash back to high school in the worst possible way. Honestly, if I wanted to watch adults behave like toddlers, I'd tune in to Toddlers and Tiaras. Making people's ears bleed is never a good way to build a fan base.
3) At least pretend to keep it classy. It's no surprise that Lindsey Lohan ended up in jail for violating her probation. I mean, she was spotted in a bar less than a week after the initial ruling and that her alcohol-sensitive anklet began going off during a party. She's come a long way since her Parent Trap days, but I know that I can't be the only one who wishes that she'd migrate back in that direction a bit. Even channelling her Freaky Friday self would be an improvement. While I wish nothing but the best for Lindsey, aspiring actor, do yourself a favor and just avoid her pitfall. Go out and enjoy what fame you have, just stay on this side of addiction.
Love,
Me
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