Okay, let me begin this post with a confession: I am a total fan of the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise and have been for the last three years. Cue the tomatoes, bad puns, groans, eye rolls, etc. Go ahead and do what you need to do. I'll wait...
Now that we've got that out of the way we can move on to the real point of this rant/musing. Gentlemen, this is for you: Stop trying so hard!
Let me explain. On this season of the Bachelorette, there is a...contestant, I suppose...who has taken it upon himself to be the one man in the house responsible for guarding and protecting bachelorette Ali's heart. Literally, he introduced himself with that phrase and has not let it drop since. Initially, like most hopeless romantics out there, I was drawn to this shy, sweet guy. Obviously he was a little bit different than most of the guys there, but different isn't necessarily a bad thing. Plus, he appeared to have some kind of actual respect for women unlike, say Wes from the last season of the Bachelorette. Those of you who are interested can find an example of his sliminess here: Creep-o.
Anyway, my cautious enthusiasm ebbed considerably after last night's episode. Kasey started talking about his feelings for Ali and how he's totally in love with her and how she's the perfect woman for him BEFORE they left on their first one-on-one date and upped the strangeness by reciting his promise to "protect and guard her heart" approximately 2930485738 times over the five hours they spent together. I think every viewer in America agreed with Ali when she finally told him that she had to doubt his sincerity because "everything he said was like a fairytale" and she wanted him to be more genuine. Kasey solves the problem by later deciding that he needs a tattoo of a heart and a rose with a shield in front of it. Because nothing says sincere like inking the SAME THING he's said a million times over the last three episodes onto an especially sensitive part of his arm--the tattoo is on the inside of his wrist (see picture above).
I recap all of this oddness not solely to bash this truly strange display of affection, but to comment on the larger problem here. Kasey is, most likely, not a bad guy and he certainly didn't mean to seem creepy when he tattooed himself. Instead, he viewed it as a means of expressing his devotion to his idea of love. What he failed to realize, and I think what most guys fail to realize, is that Ali just wanted to get a glimpse of Kasey being himself--as much as possible on a reality tv show, anyway. And that's more than true of the women and girls I know. It seems like a lot of guys try and impress others by being "perfect" according to a specific criteria. There's the jocks who struggle for either physical perfection or an outward measure of their own superiority over others--or else as a testament to their "manliness," the nerds who try to assert their intellectualism, and those guys who try so hard to be the nice that they end up being clingy or weak.
Here's the thing, though: we aren't looking for a guy to be the epitome of perfection in any area at all. If anything, we're looking for the perfect guy FOR US--it's an entirely different thing. As far as I'm concerned, I'd much rather date a guy who's willing to be himself and be relaxed around me than someone who, in Ali's words, spews fairytales all the time. You can be sensitive and not be fake. And I know of several girls who would love to meet you if you are :).
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